one life is not enough

​(ik wil gelukkig zijn)
documentary, 71’, black/white and colour

fien de la mar was an exceptional actress: cabaret performer, singer, but also a great tragedienne. she did not care for the distinction between high and low art and could excel in both. her life and her acting were closely related; it became a tragedy that at moments gave her roles an ominous shimmer. Through film fragments and photos, the film evokes the magic of her playing, the euphoria and despair in her life. the soundtrack plays with the sound of her film scenes and quotes from interviews about her.

with johanna ter steege

script: annette apon
cinematography: peter brugman
sound: fokke van saane
costumes: bernadette corstens
make up: sara meerman
editing: jan ketelaars
soundsscapes: harry de wit
sound design: huibert boon
image post production: loods, lux & lumen
producer: digna sinke for sng film

distribution: rieks hadders/mokum filmdistributie

world premiere: international film festival rotterdam 2016

internationaal filmfestival assen vrouw & film 2016
netherlands film festival 2016
jornadas de reapropiación, la joya, mexico 2016


dvd (with english subtitles) available:

streaming via eye film player

Apon’s film is a hall of mirrors: through De la Mar’s play we catch a glimpse of the woman behind the actress. We see Johanna ter Steege in her preparations for a monologue once performed by Fien de la Mar. A look behind the scenes of one actress, which represents the work of the other. (De Telegraaf)

A world-class diva, condemned to a Dutch artist’s life. (De Volkskrant)

Beautiful portrait of a talented, lonely diva (Het Parool)★★★★

Fien de la Mar hypnotizes. (Filmkrant) ★★★★

Hey, hey, finally an original Dutch film (Trouw) ★★★★

A fascinating image of a woman who did not always know what to do with real life (AD) ★★★★

categorie: docs